Finding Out
by SnoopGirl69
Summary: Seeley Booth told Temperance Brennan, "That's for me to know and you to find out." And so she did - but how will she deal with her findings?
1. Chapter 1

**Finding Out**

"What are you doing?" Seeley Booth asked Temperance Brennan as she poignantly sifted through his shoes at the bottom of his bedroom closet.

"I'm finding out," she replied as she systematically poked her left hand into the tip of the last pair of dress shoes on the shoe rack.

He closed his eyes and squinted. Once opened he spoke, "Ok, Bones, I bite, what are you trying to find out?" His face and voice were perplexed.

"Well if it is your tongue you are biting, which only makes sense as I see no other visual objects you could bite, it will heal relatively fast as the mouth is one of the fastest healing parts of the human body."

"Thanks for the anatomy lesson Bones, but _why _are you sticking your hand in my shoes?"

She stood and smoothed her skirt with the palms of her hands. "I was seeing if you keep your masturbatory aid in your shoes. You did tell me it was for you to know and me to find out."

"I was referring to you asking me while we weren't in a murder victims bedroom and in the presence of our shrink," he said as he stepped forward and closed the sliding closet door.

"Fair enough, do you keep a masturbatory aid in your shoes?" she asked as her eyes scanned the room for a pair of shoes she may have missed.

"Not anymore," he replied as he turned towards the door and headed for the kitchen.

"When did you stop keeping it in your shoes?" she asked as though she were asking a stranger for the time.

"I don't think that is any of your business."

"You said it was for me to find out and you know I am a literal person."

"I said it was for you to find out if I kept one in my _shoes_."

"I use a vibrator on occasion," she blurted out.

He shot her a glaring look. "Too much information Bones," he recanted as he grabbed a glass from the cupboard.

"You told me I should offer something of myself if I want someone to share something about themselves."

"I mean a family secret, dreams of building a personal space craft, who _really _killed Kennedy. That kind of thing. Not that you use a –"

She knew he couldn't say the word in her presence so she offered it to him, "Vibrator."

Booth felt the blood pool in his cheeks and quickly turned to the fridge, opened it and grabbed the water jug.

"Booth, masturbation is normal. Everyone does it, even you."

The thought of her even remotely thinking about him masturbating was enough to bring on an erection. He knew she wouldn't give up unless he gave her something.

"I use my imagination," he said as he made his way to the couch, grabbed the remote and aimlessly started channel surfing.

Brennan looked towards the couch and could clearly see something was aggravating him. Talking about masturbating would frustrate him but not aggravate him.

"What are you looking for?" she asked as she sat beside him.

"Nothing," he replied and banged the remote down on the coffee table in front of him.

"Booth, look, I'm sorry, if talking about masturbation makes you uncomfortable, I will end the discussion. But something else is clearly bothering you. I'd like to try and help. You tell me talking about problems can help fix them."

He hated when his words came back to haunt him.

"Thanks, but this is something I have to figure out on my own."

"Maybe you should talk to Sweets. He can be extremely helpful at times."

"Listen it's getting late Bones, and I have a meeting in the morning, thanks for bringing the files by and snooping through my personal belongings." He voice was hard and cold. Temperance Brennan read bones better than living people but in this instance she read Seeley Booth like an open book: he wasn't just aggravated, he was _angry._


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Here is a very short Chapter Two :o) Oh why can't I just write a one-shot like I had planned? Because B&B are such awesome characters and the sky is the limit when writing about them. There will be one more chapter which I have every good intention of writing today ;o)**

**Chapter Two**

Temperance stood, grabbed her purse and walked to the front door. After a moment's hesitation she turned to her partner standing behind the couch, hands on the back supporting himself as he leaned forward, staring at the floor.

"I'll see you," she spoke, barely above a whisper as she grabbed the door knob and turned it.

Having had enough of this self torture, still keeping his head down so as his words were barely audible to her but as clear to him as the dream he had of her last night, he emptied his heart into the still air, "You. I think of you."

Her hand on the door, she froze.

"It's always you." His voice louder, she turned her head to the side to catch a glimpse of him still staring at the floor.

Sliding her hand off the door knob, she dropped her purse to the floor, turned and moved towards the couch.

"Attraction to one's work partner is perfectly normal. We spend a lot of our waking hours together and being of different gender and neither of us in a relationship, it is totally logical for you to have more than work related feelings for me."

His face was now parallel to hers, the couch the only barrier. She felt a twinge of – _something._ He was looking at her as he had never looked before. She remembered April saying how fish have souls and humans see right into them. Seeley Booth was not a fish but she was human and at that moment, she felt she was seeing into his soul – through the portholes of his face.

He had to deal with his feelings for his partner before they ate him alive. Torture in the Middle East, having his relationship with his son controlled by his ex-almost-finance and hard ass criminals invading his life day after day were nothing compared to the internal torment he faced as his emotions for Temperance Brennan slowly got the better of him. _Partners. Friends. _ It was challenging to keep those platonic feelings as he watched her slowly emerge from her science cocoon.

"Bones, this is more than just thoughts. It's desire. Desire to be more than your partner and friend." He slowly walked around the couch and stood before her, hands in front pockets of his jeans.

Sincerity was a hidden attribute Seeley Booth reserved for when he _needed_ it. This was definitely one of those times and Temperance Brennan felt the words pound through her ears and into_ her_ heart.

He was terrified of what her reaction might be at his next move but more terrified with what he would have to live with if he never took the risk.

He made two small steps closer to her so he was merely inches away from he and looked directly into her eyes which made his heart rate speed and palms sweat.

"Booth, I can't reciprocate those feelings," she stated, her voice cool and unconvincing.

Removing his right hand from his pocket, he gently stroked her cheek with his knuckles causing her to twitch under the sensation.

"I will wait," he whispered as his finger tips traced her jaw line and stopped at her left ear to brush back a few strands of hair that had fallen out of a pony tail.

"What if I don't want you to wait?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

**A/N: So much for a short story. I was inspired this morning and it will be longer than anticipated. Total change of course for the plot. And the title brings on more meaning that I had intended it to. **

**Thank you for reading, reviewing and adding me/my story to your alerts. **

_What if I don't want you to wait?"_

Many scenarios had played through his mind over the past few months, as too what her response may be when informed of his true feelings for her.

_F-Off. _

_Oh, Booth, don__'t be silly. We're partners._

_I__'m in love with someone else. _

_We are too busy with our __careers to be in a relationship._

"Are you sure of that Bones? If you can look me in the eyes and tell me you don't want me to wait for you, I will respect that." He shifted his weight, leaning more on his left leg. Patience was Seeley Booth's alluring characteristic that was envied by all who knew him. Whether it be a target to be sniped at eight hundred feet, a suspect with everything but a nail in their coffin trying to figure a way out or Parker choosing a movie to rent on Sunday afternoon, patience was something Seeley Booth had spades of.

"Booth, I'm flattered you have feelings for me. Any woman would be lucky to have you."

"Touché. Any woman but _you._" He turned his head to the side not knowing whether he should scream or laugh. He turned back to her, persistence another admirable quality of his. "Look me in the eyes."

Peering into his eyes, her own blurred by welling tears, she disconnected her heart from her brain and spoke the slaying words, "Don't wait for me."

A bullet in the knee cap would have been easier to take. As a former Army Ranger, POW and now Special Agent with the Federal Bureau of Investigation, it wasn't in Seeley Booth's nature to beg. Some people would say there is a fine line between begging and pleading. He wasn't going to do _either._

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Their conversation a few weeks earlier had ended after she reiterated that she didn't want him waiting for her. They continued to work together amicably, solving three murder cases in that time. Some on lookers thought it was adrenaline; others thought it was a Band-Aid for their unresolved feelings for each other.

"Booth, can I see you in my office please?" Brennan asked of him on a Thursday afternoon.

He followed her to the confinements of her domain and was startled when she closed the door behind him. Whatever she was about to say should have been able to be said with the door open.

"My publisher is hosting a party this Saturday and I need to bring a _companion_."

"You want me to find you someone?" He inquired knowing damn well that wasn't what she was asking.

"Actually, I had thought of that (she wanted him to think that she had thought of that) however, I thought it might be more practical that you come with me. After all you have read _all_ my books."

"I don't know Bones, this might be a conflict of interest." His voice laden with sarcasm came across loud and clear to her.

"Fine, if you don't want to, I'll ask Clark."

"Clark? As in your assistant Clark?"

"Yes. He would make an excellent companion."

"Why do you _need_ to bring someone?" he asked curiously.

"My publisher would like to promote my book and for publicity reasons, apparently, me having a companion makes for better publicity."

_Yeah right. She wants me. I am going to make her work for it - us._


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

_A/N: It should have been PUBLICIST not publisher in Chapter Three._

"Your publicist is quite eccentric," Booth said as they made their way back to Brennan's house.

"She just wants my book to do well," Brennan replied while opening her purse to get her house key.

As Booth pulled into her driveway, she felt this was the time to ask him the all important question, "Do you like my books?"

He turned off the ignition, left key in, and turned to her.

"Yes, I do like your books."

"You can tell me the truth Booth."

He smiled and let out a small laugh, "That is the truth Bones. I enjoyed reading all of your books. You are a very talented writer. And it's cool to read about yourself in a New York Times Best Seller."

"When are you going to stop thinking you are the inspiration for Andy?" She shook her head.

"When you stop basing him on me."

With a roll of her eyes, she opened the door, "Thank you for coming tonight."

"Your welcome. See you Monday," he said turning the key after her door closed.

_xxxxxx_

_Six Weeks Later_

"Angela, have you seen Bones? Booth asked the artist as he peeked his head into her office.

"No I haven't. She must be fighting off the mob of fans looking for a signed copy of her latest book."

Booth smiled and strode back down the platform only to see his partner walking up the steps.

"Hey Bones, late night?" he asked, winking at her.

Looking at him with perplexity, she didn't say a word as she made her way past him and into her office. He followed. As she unpacked her briefcase, a folder fell to the floor and when he went to pick it up, Brennan grabbed at it literally pulling it from his hand.

"That's personal," she snapped at him.

"Oh, sorry, I was just trying to help pick up a fallen folder."

"Thank you but I can pick up my own folder," she retorted.

_xxxxxx_

Honesty was Temperance Brennan's backbone of her existence. Denial? Well that was also part of her existence. As work her, he knew the signs all too well when denial came to the forefront of her being.

xxxxxx

The ringing of her cell phone distracted her from analyzing two bodies found in a ditch outside of town.

"Brennan," she announced.

"Bones, we have a case, I'll be there in twenty minutes, get your things together," Booth stated.

"I can't," she replied. "I'll tell Clark to get ready, you can take him." With that information, she hit END on the phone and promptly went back to work, without informing Clark of his impending field work assignment.

xxxxxx

As Clark examined the remains of what appeared to be a young girl stuffed in a garbage bag in a dumpster, Booth held his notepad and pen as he always did, but today he was distracted and didn't write anything Clark said to him, down on paper.

"Agent Booth, are you going to take notes?" Clark asked.

"Yeah sure," replied the Agent who scribbled some things down.

"I am qualified to work in the field Agent Booth," Clark said as he stood to face the distracted man.

"Yeah sure."

Clark knew the reason for his distraction and decided that he would just use his recorder to make notes and the absent minded agent could listen to them on is own time.

"Clark, you notice anything different about Dr. Brennan today?" Booth asked as they drove the highway back to the Jeffersonian while FBI agents arranged to have the remains transported to the lab.

"Different?"

"Yeah, – different."

"You said that already Agent Booth."

"Forget it," said Booth as he pulled into the parking lot and let Clark out.

As he exited the car and put his bag on the ground, he pulled his recorder from his coat pocket and held it out for Booth. "Would you like this now?" he asked.

Booth raised his eyebrows silently questioning why he would want the recorder.

"For the notes you didn't take earlier."

"I'll get it later," he replied as he gestured for Clark to take it.

_What is happening to me? I am allowing her to affect my job. That is not me. But then it is also not Temperance Brennan-like to not want to go into the field. Last time she did that she was mad at me for not trying to stop Zach from going to Iraq. Wait .. She can't be mad at me for telling her how I feel about her.. can she?_


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews – the alerts make me as giddy as a high school girl on her first date – and inspiration is flowing – so here is another chapter :o)**

"Oh Sweetie, I am so sorry. Is there anything I can do?" Angela asked her best friend.

"Will you come with me?" Brennan asked with nervousness.

"Of course," Angela replied as they hugged again, for what was like the hundredth time that afternoon.

"You are the best Ange. I don't know what I would do without you."

"You could tell your other best friend."

"Angela, please not now."

"He's your friend and will be extremely upset if he finds out you didn't tell him."

"Why would Booth care about this?"

Angela Montenegro was a passionate woman at heart and rarely was anger a mood that engulfed her. She felt her stomach tighten, palms start sweating and teeth grind.

"I am going to ignore that question. You can stay in denial, that is your choice, but don't you ever question Seeley Booth's concern for you again."

"But Ange …"

"That Temperance Brennan is the most insensitive thing I have ever hear come out of your mouth and I have heard plenty. Angela stood, hugged her friend again and turned towards the door. "What time?"

"Nine o'clock."

"I'll pick you up at eight. Call me if you need anything."

"Thanks."

As Angela disappeared through the front door, her cell phone rang.

"Hello?" she asked as she stared out the window and watched Angela drive away.

"Bones, it's me. I was wondering if you wanted to go for lunch?" Booth asked.

"I'm not hungry, but thanks for asking."

"You have to eat, I'll be there in twenty minutes."

She hesitated a few seconds before speaking.

"I'm not at the lab. I'm at home."

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, just doing some work from home."

Temperance Brennan _never_ worked from home especially on a weekday.

"Bones, you sure everything is okay?"

"Yeah, I have to go. Bye."

As she hung up the phone, she saw her reflection in the mirror hanging over the fireplace. What made her so deserving of their love? Their unlimited understanding. Their unconditional love.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

_A/N: Small rewording change on last paragraph of Chapter Five_

_As she hung up the phone, she saw her reflection in a mirror hung over the fireplace. What made her so deserving of their understanding - their unconditional love? _

Booth sat in his office flipping his pen back and forth until it started to hypnotize him. As a professional investigator, the case of "_What's up with Temperance Brennan"_ was starting to consume him. He really didn't want to push her as he had already put his heart out on his sleeve. He was a proud man and rarely did something or someone affect him to the point of consummation but her partnership and friendship were things he wasn't sure he was ready to live without and pushing her into telling him what was going on in her life might just might push her right out of his life completely. _That_ wasn't acceptable to him.

As the day progressed and the _In Box_ on the Special Agent's desk dwindled down, he loosened his tie, removed it and circled his neck, attempting to relieve the tension. Glancing at the clock on his computer, the numbers 7:30pm filled his vision. It had been a while since he and his good friend James Alliston had been out, so he dialed the still familiar numbers and as it would be, Jim was still at work and welcomed the invitation to play a couple games of racquetball at the local recreation center.

As the ball pounded the wall, Jim noticed Seeley's frustration and called him on it.

"What's up with you? That ball never did anything to you but let you whoop my ass in this game," Jim said as he wiped his face with a towel and took a drink of water.

"Girl trouble," Booth replied as he gripped his water bottle so tight, water shot out.

They both laughed as they prepared for a shower and while drying off they chatted about life and work.

"Let's get a drink and you can tell me about this girl trouble of yours," Jim said as they packed up their bags.

xxxxx

Some sound advice from a friend and a few shots the night before of his favorite Scotch, which led to a sound sleep, had Seeley Booth at Temperance's house just after sunrise the next morning.

"Booth, what are you doing here?" Bones asked as she peeked around the edge of the door.

"Brought you some coffee," he said as he held up the tray housing two large Starbucks coffees.

"Thanks but I don't want any," she replied as she attempted to close the door.

Holding the tray with one hand and firmly placing the other around the edge of door, he pressed his way into her apartment.

"It really is ignorant of you to keep barging into my house like this. Can you not take a hint – I tried to close the door in your face.

_Okay, she is tired, probably didn't sleep well. _

"Sorry Bones, I just thought I would stop buy with some morning coffee."

"Listen Booth, now is not a good time," she replied as she wrapped her robe tighter around her body.

"Oh, okay, I'll see you later at the lab," he said as he put down the coffees, removed one for himself and turned to the door. He would respect her privacy.

"I'm not going to work today."

That made his head turn. Two days in a row of not working for Bones meant something was not right. He would be damned if he would let her out of telling him what was going on without a fight - he was genuinely concerned for his partner - his friend and that over ruled everything.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

"Bones, what's wrong? Two days in a row of not going to work, are you sick?"

"Booth, I really need you to go."

"Not until I find out what is going on."

"You don't have to know everything about me Booth."

Her voice was cold. He wasn't giving in so easily though. He took a few steps back, sat on the couch, and crossed his arms and legs, waiting for a response.

She looked at him with intent and _fury. _

He replied with raised eyebrows and tightened his self-embrace.

The silence was deafening and with two extremely self assured people it could go on indefinitely. Deciding the only way to get him to leave so Angela could take her to her appointment was to bare it all. Staring directly into his eyes, she loosened the knot on her robe and pulled it to the side, expressing her left breast.

As she had silently predicted his eyes widened and arms fell to his side.

She switched to scientist mode which had been temporarily abandoned, "I have a two-inch diameter lump in my left breast. I am going for a biopsy this morning." She stepped closer to him. "It could be malignant."

Malignant. He knew that meant cancer.

_No. Bones can't have cancer. She can't._

"Bones, I'm – damn." He covered his face in his hands for a moment then stood before her, their proximity even closer now.

"Why didn't you tell me Bones, I could have--?"

She cut him off, "What Booth, you could have what? Cured me? That's what I will need Booth, a cure. Your faith in God can't help me."

"What? Why did you bring that up?"

"You can't fix this Booth. I knew you would try but you can't fix this."

"Bones you are not making any sense."

"Booth, you always try to fix things, but this," she gestured to her bare breast, " is out of your realm."

He had a startling revelation.

"Is this why you said you don't want me to wait for you?" He took a step back, wanting, no needing, to see her face, her eyes, when she answered him.

"Booth, you deserve more," she replied, pulling her robe back over her bare skin.

"More what Bones?" He did not like where this conversation was going but it was too far along to let it go.

"More than I can give you."

"Like honesty?" It was now his voice that was cold.

"I didn't lie to you."

"You didn't tell the truth either."

"I don't have to tell you everything about me, Booth. I am certain you don't tell me everything about yourself."

They were still standing toe-to-toe neither wanting to let it go – until Bones spoke the crushing words, "You think you would still want me, but if I was, incomplete, I know it would mean something to you. I don't want to be incomplete for anyone."

He wasn't conceding when he stepped back, ran his hand over his mouth, took a deep breath and then leaned forward so they were barely an inch apart. He tilted his mouth to the side of hers so as to make sure she heard him _and_ saw him.

"I have encountered many types of people in my life and you Temperance Brennan are one of a kind. Until this moment my commitment to my friends, family and country were_ never_ questioned. I offered you my heart, my soul, my everything and you couldn't even give me the truth." He pulled his head back slightly, " I don't deserve more, I deserve_ better_."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

"Thanks for coming with me Ange, I really appreciate it," Brennan said as they pulled into the hospital parking lot.

"Don't mention it, that's what friends are for."

"You don't have to stay, I will be fine," said Brennan as she walked towards the front doors.

"Just try and get rid of me Sweetie," Angela replied as she held open the door for her best friend.

After registering, it was only a few minutes before a nurse called her name and Tempe made her way down a long hallway.

"You can go in here, take off everything above your waist and put on this gown," the nurse stated as she handed over the gown and opened a door at the end of the hallway. "The doctor will be here in a few minutes."

"Thank you."

xxxx

One hour later Tempe was dressed and back in the waiting room where Angela sat drinking coffee and reading a magazine.

"I'm ready," Brennan said as she appeared in front of her friend.

"That was quick," Angela said, as she grabbed their jackets and they headed to the car.

"I would like to go the lab Ange."

Angela turned to her and saw a look of non-contentment and knowing bones was the one thing that always brought her back to contentment, Angela nodded and they headed towards the Jeffersonian.

The silence that had filled the car on the trip from hospital broke when Brennan spoke, "I will have the results by the end of the day tomorrow." A slight pause, "I'm scared Ange."

"I know you are. So am I. I can't imagine what it feels like to –"

"Wait to find out if you have cancer?"

"Yeah, that."

"I thought I could rationalize this, but cancer is not rational."

"No it is not Sweetie but we will get through this together," Angela said as they walked across the parking lot to the sliding doors of the lab.

"The only other person that knows is Booth," Brennan said as they walked towards the platform.

Angela knew Brennan was a private person and that it was hard enough to accept her help let alone tell Booth, so respecting that she said she would keep it between them.

xxxx

"Hey Bren, thought you might like some coffee," Angela stated as she placed a large cup on the desk.

"Thank you."

Angela seated herself across from Brennan and after they both took a few sips of their hot beverage, Angela felt like she was going to burst if she didn't ask Brennan what happened when she told Booth about the lump in her breast. But before Angela could form the words on her, lips Brennan blurted out words that caused Miss Montenegro to gasp for air.

"Booth told me he loved me."

After she regained herself Angela started in on the questions, "What did you say? Did you tell him you love him back?"

Tempe shook her head.

"Are you crazy woman? The man is, well he's _all_ man and not just in looks."

"I told him I did not feel the same way and he said he would wait."

"See, and a sweetheart too," Angela pointed out.

"I told him I didn't want him to wait."

"You don't really mean that?" Angela asked leaning in closer.

"Yeah I do Ange."

"Is this because of the lump?" Angela could be vague but this was one of her more subtle moments.

Brennan froze, hands gripping the mug, feeling the warmth consume her.

"I would have said the same thing if it had been another man."

"But it wasn't another man, it was Seeley Booth. He's your partner, friend and now the man who loves you. Why would you give up a chance to be with him and most likely have the best sex of your life?"

"His confession came at a bad time. Listen Ange, I have some things I want to finish up before I leave." She didn't want to get into what happened after that.

"Bren, I drove you here." Angela knew she was starting to pry and that once Brennan had her test results she would be able to think somewhat clearer about her personal life.

"Oh yeah, when are you leaving?" Brennan asked.

"I was planning on ten minutes, do you need more time?"

"I can –"

Brennan's sentence was cut short by a voice from the doorway "Get a ride with me," Booth said as he entered the office.

"I think this is my cue to leave," Angela stated as she stood, greeted Booth and left the office.

They both watched Angela leave the office and when she was out of hearing range Brennan was the first to speak, "What if I don't want a ride from you?"

"And a hello to you too Bones." He stepped towards her, removed his hands from his jean pockets, put them on her desk, and leaned down to meet her eye to eye, "I would pick you up, toss you over my shoulder and carry you out."

"My aren't you oozing confidence this evening," she replied, their eyes still locked.

He continued to stare her square in the eyes for a few more seconds. With cat like precision, he moved around her desk bent down, scooped her up into his arms and marched towards the door, out on to the platform and down the stairs to the exit. Before Temperance Brennan could protest, she was being set down on the pavement of the Jeffersonian parking lot.

"What …?"

"United States Army. I could have done it blindfolded but I am not wearing a tie."

"Impressive but you said you would throw me over your shoulder." She was challenging him.

"I did say that but then I realized in doing so you would most likely be uncomfortable."

The sincerity in his voice and eyes, the concern on his face was evident. She never imagined _this_ was how she would find out.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

**A/N: Thank you for all the reviews! I am now beyond giddy. Guess what is even better than a review? – A spot on an Alert list, be it Story Alert or Author Alert. I was also alerted that I am on a few Favorite Author lists - my husband now has to widen my bedroom doorway because my ego has blossomed to frightening proportions ;o)**

**It is a short chapter but a chapter nonetheless.**

After walking back to her office with Booth _beside_ her, she gathered her purse and jacket. The ride home was taken in silence.

"Thanks for the ride," Brennan said quietly.

"Your welcome," Booth responded.

Neither moved or spoke for what seemed like minutes when in reality it was seconds.

"I'm hungry and feel like ordering a pizza, would you like to join me?" Brennan asked eyes focused ahead.

A calming sense filled Booth. His growling stomach coupled with his inability to stay away from the good doctor allowed him to accept her invitation.

"Sounds good Bones, but I want my own pizza – there shouldn't be anything to do with a _goat_ on a pizza."

xxxx

"Pizza will be here in forty minutes. I am going to change my clothes." Brennan disappeared down the hall into her bedroom. Booth removed his jacket, hung it on a coat hook by the door then made his way to the couch.

"Would you like something to drink?" She asked as she rounded the couch towards the kitchen.

"Sure."

Brennan poured two iced teas and sat beside Booth who was now leaning back on the couch with his feet on the coffee table. As she put the glasses down on the table, she gestured towards his feet and raised her eyebrows. It took him a moment to register her silent request but he adjusted himself allowing his legs to bend and his feet land quietly on the floor.

"This unresolved tension between us is unbearable." Brennan's words cut through the air causing Booth to turn his head abruptly in her direction.

"Bones, I'm sorry, I –"

She interrupted his confession, "You are right. You do deserve better." Putting the glass on the table, she shifted her body so she faced him. "You don't have anything to be sorry about. I am the one who needs to apologize to you."

He placed his own glass on the table and turned to see her eyes welling with tears. His heart strings were being tugged on.

"I find out my results tomorrow. Until then, I can't concentrate on much else."

She shifted on the couch to get more comfortable but for what she was about to say there was no comfortable position to be in.

"You took me by surprise Seeley. Not many people can do that. I don't want you to wait for me because if I do have cancer, then it could be –" She hesitated sucking back the tears and fear.

"Temperance, let's just not think about the what ifs right now." He took her hand and squeezed it reassuringly. "Whether you have cancer or not, I will still love you." His eyes started to moisten, his mind racing in directions he tried to block.

"Love me?" She knew he did but without the words spoken, it _could_ be deemed a figment of her imagination.

"Yes, love you." Pausing he tried to pick out words that wouldn't make her cry more and him start. "I want to be the one whom _you_ give your love to."

He failed miserably at his attempt. He had always known that when she used his given name that would be the time to tell her. By her not using it, she kept distance between them, partnership their only connection. He had tried to let her know a few times that things were beyond partnership between them, when he had called her Temperance, but she drew further back into her cocoon. Seeley Booth knew the day would come when they furthered their relationship, but never had it occurred to him that it would be while they ate pizza, silently counting down the hours until biopsy results were revealed.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

Booth had driven to Tempe's work at two-fifty in the afternoon where she attempted to focus on a set of remains, but drifted in and out of thoughts about possibly having cancer and a man named Seeley Booth. She was not one to monitor time, as it served no purpose other than to strain your neck but today was an exception. At three o'clock, Booth entered her office where they made small talk then drove thirty-five minutes to the doctor that would give her, _them,_ crushing or jubilant news.

Dr. Ben Richards and Temperance Brennan had attended university together. Both of extremely high intelligence, they attended many of the same social functions. Ben had lost both his parents to cancer at the age of seventeen and vowed one day he would be an oncologist; doing whatever he humanly could to help others beat the dreaded disease. With a common bond to make a difference for others, they remained friends over the years and when Tempe's family doctor told her of the possibility of a tumor in her breast, she knew the person she had to call.

"Well Temperance I have great news. You don't have cancer," Dr. Benjamin Richards said as he peered over the rim of his glasses.

Tempe was now convinced that a person could forget how to breathe given the right circumstances.

"But.."

_Uh oh the inevitable "but"._

"You will need to have the mass removed. We could wait six months and do a mammogram but I feel it is best we remove it given its current size. I am going to schedule you for outpatient surgery next Friday." He glanced at his date book, "I have an opening at ten o'clock."

"Ten o'clock Friday. I will be there." As she stood a bit weak in the knees, she held her hand out towards Ben's, "Thank-you Ben."

"I hope to never see you in my office again," Dr. Richards replied with a warm half smile.

As Booth and Brennan walked back to his car, she pulled out her phone, excited to share her news with her other best friend.

"Ange, it's me, I have great news."

The two women chatted for a few minutes while Booth drove to the outskirts of town towards his favorite restaurant for dinner.

"Booth where are we going?" Brennan asked after she ended the call with Angela and looked out the window, noticing the landscape changing as they headed out of the city.

"Dinner," he replied as he pulled into the parking lot of a out of the way restaurant.

"How do you know I am hungry?"

"I don't," he paused as he put the car in park and pulled the keys out of the ignition, "But I do know that I am." Giving her one of his best smiles he got out, walked around the back of the vehicle to open the door for her.

"Booth, I just want to go back to the lab and get some work done."

"You can't be serious," he replied as he held the door open for her.

"Very."

Ignoring her, he nodded to the host who recognized him immediately, "Seeley, so good of you to come back. Table for two?"

"Yes please, Dimitri."

"I will tell Angelo you are here, Seeley. He be so happy," Dimitri said with his broken English and heavy Italian accent.

"So you come here often, Seeley?" Brennan asked with curiosity.

Ignoring the use of his given name he answered, "Angleo is my cousin. He owns the place. Only comes to town a few times a year. He lives in Italy." Booth took off his jacket and placed it beside him as Dimitri returned with a bottle of wine.

"Angelo be right out. Then I take your order." Dimitri turned to Brennan then back to Booth. "Your mother not teach you any manners Seeley?"

Immediately Booth knew he had forgotten to introduce Brennan.

"Dimitri, this is Temperance Brennan. Temperance this is Dimitri."

As they shook hands Angelo emerged from the kitchen, the cousins embraced and introductions were repeated.

While enjoying their meal, talk was abundant with topics like Parker's first girlfriend and Brennan's next book. After strawberry cheese cake and coffee for dessert, Booth paid the bill and said goodbye to his cousin.

"Thank for a wonderful dinner Booth. And even better company."

"That was a compliment Bones. Are you feeling okay?" Booth said with a crooked grin.

"Come on Booth, I have given you a compliment before."

Knowing she had but wanting her to repeat at least of them, she called her on it.

"When?"

As they got into the car Brennan turned to him and put her hand on his forearm, "When I told you that you are a great father, several times."

"Good memory Bones." He winked at her and pulled out of the parking space onto the road which would take them home.

xxxx

"There that should be roaring in no time Bones," Booth said as he gestured towards the freshly lit fire in his fireplace.

"I have always liked fires. The flames are eternal and peaceful." Her head turned away from him as she saw on his face at that moment the same look he gave her outside the Jeffersonian after obstacle coursing her out in what seemed like a few seconds.

Sensing there yet another tension filled moment brewing between them he brushed off the potential for furthering it by stating he was going to make some hot chocolate.

"It turned cold quickly out there Bones, the fire was a good idea," he said from the kitchen.

She smiled briefly at him and turned to stare back at the fire.

"No marshmallows so I put in some whipped cream, hope you like it," he said as he handed her a large mug.

"It's fine, thank-you."

As they sipped their hot chocolate, the silence between them was becoming deafening. This had to be one of the most awkward moments of his life. The apprehension building in him started to crawl up his throat and when he felt it reach his mouth he let loose. Slamming down his cup on the table caused some cream to slip over the edge and Temperance Brennan to be catapulted off the couch and out of her fire induced entrancement. He pulled her cup from her hands and placed it firmly down beside his, turned to her and pulled their bodies together. Chest to chest, eye to eye, they stood. No movement, no sound, only the crackling of the fire behind them. The flames formed shadows around their faces, breaths shallow and fast.

"Booth, what are you doing?" Her voice was steady and low.

"What I should have done a long time ago," he replied just before he leaned forward and felt his lips touch hers. They both paused a brief moment before Brennan responded by reaching for his shoulders and leaned into him. The tension was releasing from both their bodies, flowing outward as their breaths became one. Passion, evolvement and the sweetest tastes ever powered the kiss along.

As he pulled back his heartbeat picked up pace. He had been scared of actually kissing her but now that he had done it, he was petrified - he hadn't really thought about what would literally happen following their first kiss.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: This story is going to continue on for a few more chapters. I have had a massive case of writer's block and sharing my computer with an 18 year old and 10 year old can infringe on my creative moments. But I WILL finish this story!!**

**Chapter Eleven  
**

"Booth, what's wrong?" Brennan asked as she felt his body pull from hers and slump back on to the couch. He was pale, the tan on his face fading quickly. His hands firmly placed over his face, he mumbled something indistinguishable.

"Was it the way I kissed? I mean I have been told I am a good kisser but perhaps you think differently." She knew it wasn't how she kissed and thought by lightening the mood she would get him to open up to her.

"Bones, it wasn't the kiss. That was perfect," he replied as he patted the couch indicating for her to sit.

"Then what Booth? Why do you look – _terrified_?"

He turned his face to see her eyes, round and wide.

"I imagined many scenarios where I would kiss you. In your office; in my office; in an elevator; so many places, even right here, on your couch. But this, this is better than anything I could ever imagine." He felt his heart rate slow slightly as her eyes held his gaze.

"Better?" Brennan inquired.

"Oh yeah Bones, much better," he said then flashed her a smile. "But in my dreams I could control everything, myself and you. I could make you do whatever I wanted."

"Whatever you wanted? Her voice lowered a notch. "And what did you have me doing _Seeley_?"

For a split second, he thought he was in trouble and his panic was legitimate. Then she did it. She gave him a half smile which was accompanied by a twinkle in her eyes.

"Well, I had you kissing my mouth softly," he replied, deciding it was safe to start with tame versions of his dreams.

Before he could say another word, he felt her lips on the corner of his mouth. His eye lids fell shut as the most intense tingling sensation coursed through his body every time her lips lightly pressed against his skin.

She leaned backed and smiled as she saw the color returning to his face.

"I think I have magic lips," she announced.

"Oh really, you think that do you?"

"You went from petrified to almost sedated in a matter of thirty seconds."

He hated when she had the upper hand on him. He really did. But Seeley Booth was willing at this point in time to sacrifice his pride if it meant she would touch him again with her lips.

"Booth you know you don't have to be in control of _everything. _It is okay to be vulnerable and insecure," Brennan said as they continued to talk and drink their hot chocolate.

"I know, Sweets and I have been talking about that lately, and I am trying to work on relinquishing some control over things but, well, it is much easier said than done." He placed his cup down on the table, leaned back and stared at the fire. "You know what I like best about fire?" he asked as his eyes followed the flames from the logs to hole where they would dissipate into the chilling night air.

"The fact that it is a hot glowing body of burning gas, that often carries fine incandescent particles creating it's brilliant reddish-orange color?"

Booth removed his eyes from the flames and focused them on his partner.

"You really are one hell of a genius Bones, but that is not what I like most about fire. I like that is it unpredictable."

Brennan was about to speak but decided against is as she studied her partner's face. He was thirty six years of age took very good care of himself by working out and balancing his diet. His skin had weathered years of being in the Army and field work with the FBI. The one thing that concerned her was his worrying. He constantly had everyone's well being on his mind. His son. His brother. His work - the victims and their families. And hers. He would call her office at seven in the evening knowing she had not had dinner yet and would somehow wedge his way into sharing yet another meal with her. She minded at first as she felt he was invading her space, her time to reflect on the day and plan for the next. As time moved along and their sharing of meals increased from more dinners to lunches, and even the occasional breakfast, having Booth in her space became likable. She found that she had someone to share her life with, even if it was only her work life.

"Unpredictable? That is ironic coming from a man who likes to control everything." Brennan sat motionless waiting for his response.

"I don't like to control everything, just things that –" he stopped, he knew he was a control freak. He could admit it but didn't like other people to know that he struggled with it.

"You like to control," Brennan added in to finish his sentence.

Booth scoffed at her words but when her eyebrows rose, he knew she had him.

"You found out my deep dark secret. I, Seeley Booth, am a control freak." He had only done that admission once before and that was with FBI Psychologist Lance Sweets – just two weeks ago.

Brennan knew it was difficult for him to say that to her so she let her thought stay silent that she had known he was a control freak since working their first case together.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve **

The evening continued in front of the fire, bickering ensuing when Booth put the fire out with a large log and then Brennan filled the room with smoke when she attempted to get it burning again.

After Booth wrestled the poker from Brennan, and got the fire back on track, they both sat back down on the couch as the flames fluttered to find a steady pace. They talked about anything and everything. Life in college was one topic that perpetrated a bout of laughter as antics and then popular sayings were shared.

Feeling confident that this was the time to question Booth about his thoughts of her while pleasuring himself.

"What exactly do you think about when you masturbate?" questioned Brennan.

He really did need to get one of those heart monitor machines and hook himself up to it and carry it with him because Temperance Brennan would not believe him without proof that his heart _does_ skip a beat.

"I already told you. I think of _you_." _That was a safe answer. _

"I know that, I mean what am I _doing_."

_Forget a monitor I need a crash cart. _

"Lot's of things." He hesitated a moment before continuing, "There was one time I came to the lab after everyone had left and you had only your lab coat on."

Brennan's eyes widened, "You masturbate to me looking at skeletons?" She shifted her body, as the thought was slightly disturbing.

They were his thoughts and no one was going to tell him they were cold, weird or abnormal. _No one._

"Fine, you don't like my imagination, I won't say another word." He pretended to be sulking as he crossed his arms over his chest and made a face rivaling that of his seven year old son when his dad had told him they would have to leave the park early last week.

Brennan glared at her partner, arms over his chest._ Right now, I really don't want to hear you speak, unless of course it is my name you are shouting_.

Temperance watched her partner, leaning back, broad shoulders squared out as his firm arms tightened against his chest. She was a bold, confident woman with an ability to hold her own in a conversation or whatever it was that was happening at the moment between her and Booth.

Keeping her eyes on her partner, she reached down and undid the button of her jeans trying to keep the sigh of relief hidden. He didn't budge. Deciding that she wanted what was about (hopefully) to happen be slow and tantalizing, she wiggled her ass into the couch cushion and stretched out her abdomen causing the zipper to lower slightly.

"Something wrong Bones, you are moving around quite a bit over there?" he asked dropping his arms down and tilted his head to see her suddenly still. The hem of her shirt just covered the opening of her pants. "My peripheral vision is superior, that's how I knew you were moving without looking at you."

She shook her head. _Smart ass._ "You said you weren't going to say another word."

"I was talking about my thoughts. That is what I am not going to say another word about. Why do you have to be so literal all the time, Bones?"

"Oh yeah – your thoughts."

"Are you sure you are okay Bones, you are acting – weird."

Not wanting to give her plan away, and moving her body might do that, she decided to ask for a glass of water to give her some time to prepare for her next move.

"Actually, I am thirsty, must be the dryness from the fire. Would you please get me a glass of water – with ice?"

Booth had lost track of why he had been sulking and was glad things were going in a different direction as he really hadn't any desire to share his masturbation thoughts with anyone, even the woman he was having the thoughts about.

Listening carefully to the movements in the kitchen, Brennan started to un-button her shirt, keeping it pulled together so as not to look un-done. Her bra was clasped at the front and decided to leave it fastened – for now.

"Here, lots of ice," Booth stated as he handed the tall glass to Brennan.

"Thank-you."

They both drank the ice water in silence, the coolness refreshing as the air was dry and warm with the fire going.

After putting down her glass, Brennan leaned back, stretched out her neck and slowly parted her shirt; "It's really warm in here, Booth."

"Yes it is," he replied as his eyes moved over his partner and locked on her white bra, highlighting her tanned torso.

"That's better," she sighed as she removed her shirt, exposing her unbuttoned jeans and well proportioned breasts.

_Forget the crash cart just put me in a box._

"Bones what the _hell_ are you doing?"

"You said you were not going to say another word about your masturbation thoughts." A small smiled curved onto her lips as she tossed the shirt onto the floor.

He was not a genius or even border-line, but Seeley Booth was an intelligent man, especially when it came to interpreting people's non-verbal communications. He had just started to figure out his partner, his friend, Temperance Brennan. She was rational, literal, and compassionate - when she took off her science hat – and was a kick ass martial arts student and was almost as capable of taking care of herself as he was. What he hadn't figured out was her unique behaviors, like the one she was exhibiting in front of him in his living room. If it had been any other woman than Temperance Brennan, Booth would have noticed the signs, the unbuttoned shirt, and the ass wiggling and made his move. He was a patient man and was waiting for the time that was right for both of them to add a sexual component to their relationship. He couldn't stop from watching as Brennan, being the literal woman she is, wriggled out of her jeans, allowing them to pool at her feet before reaching down to pull them off, one leg at a time.

Clad in a white bra, panties and socks, Temperance sat motionless on the couch as Seeley watched in awe the sight before him. Was he to be a gentleman and wait for her make a move? Was he supposed to remove his clothes and climb on top of her? For a Special Agent, he was faltering at the situation presented before him.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

_A/N: Here it is, the last chapter. Thank you for reading and reviewing. It is NOT smutty. I just couldn't do that to them._

"Okay Bones your little game, whatever it is - it's over. Now put your clothes on." He reached for her jeans but was stopped by her slender fingers wrapped around his wrist.

Their eyes locked, as her hand remained on his wrist, neither moving.

"What's wrong with you Booth?"

"I need you to put your clothes back on." There was no uncertainty in his words.

Blood rushed to her face as she stared back at him - standing before her fully clothed.

"I thought you wanted this. I thought you wanted me," she muttered as she grabbed her clothes and practically ran to the bathroom.

As Booth ran his hands through his hair and paced the hallway outside his bathroom waiting for her to emerge, his thoughts wandered to when they first met. All the moments that built their relationship, their trust in each other, their respect for one another. He had wanted a sexual component added to their relationship for quite awhile. It was easy, very easy, to imagine how and when but reality was much more complicated. The sound of the lock on the bathroom door jolted him out of his thoughts.

As she tried to squeeze past him, she kept her head down and muttered, "I should go."

Grabbing her arm, she halted her steps and tried to pull away from him.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry." She couldn't bring herself to look him in the face.

"Bones look at me. You have nothing to be sorry about. I'm just not ready to add sex to our relationship."

No man had ever said those words to her. The sincerity in his voice encouraged her to lift her head and meet his eyes. " You said you wanted me, desired me. Make up your mind."

He paused a moment and pointed towards the living room. "Let's sit down."

Once situated on the couch facing each other, Booth searched silently and carefully for the words he wanted, then spoke, "I love you Temperance."

"But … " she started to say with pessimism in her voice.

"There is no but. I love you and want you to be part of my life and me a part of yours. As work partners, as friends and one day as lovers." His eyes were glistening, as tears fought with all their might not to flow. "I don't want to screw up what we have, what we can have. What we _will _have."

"You think by us having sex that will screw things up?"

His head was spinning, thoughts were racing and one that kept coming to the forefront of his mind was that he was screwing things up right now.

Booth shifted his position, placed both his hands over hers and found her eyes with his. "We have come along way Temperance in developing our relationship, having sex will be an important part of it, however, I am not ready to take that step with you, tonight. I like, I love, just sitting here talking with you, holding your hand, looking into your eyes, watching your face. listening to your voice as you talk about your life, your dreams."

Brennan stayed motionless, eyes fixated on his as he continued to talk.

"We haven't been on date yet. You know, where I pick you up we go out and then I bring you home and we dance around the question of whether or not we should kiss good night."

His warm smile appeared, the one she knew was reserved for her. How she knew, wasn't important. The fact she reciprocated one for him was.

"What did I do to be worthy of your love?" she asked quietly.

He saw the darkness in her eyes, her past rising to their edges, when it was he who was wondering what he had done to earn her love, which was safe guarded underneath her often cool exterior. His hands squeezed hers, completely engulfing them.

"There aren't one or two or even three things, Bones. Well maybe the fact that you didn't attempt to kick my ass when I kept calling you Bones after you asked me not too." His mouth twitched upward on the right side and raised both his eyebrows.

"I'm being serious Booth."

"So am I." He let go of her hands and shifted a bit on the couch, uneasy in position and thought. "We both have turbulent pasts and although you have taken the odd cheap shot at me for having taken many lives, I know you understand how difficult it is for me to live with that."

"Booth, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have made those comments."

"Your wording was a bit harsh."

"I will try and work on my diplomacy."

"Thanks."

He wasn't sure if he should bring it up but since honesty was of abundance, he took a gamble, " My dad told me once that the reason Rebecca didn't marry me was because I was a killer and who would want a killer in their bed, let alone helping raise a child."

Temperance Brennan knew abandonment by her father was painful, but never had Max been cruel to her. She could see the pain in Booth's eyes; the faint lines around them that probably came with every year that past after his father said that to him. Her pain at the moment of her parents leaving her for her own safety was paling compared to what Booth was revealing. She didn't speak; her body instinctively moved closer to him and without warning his faced buried itself on her chest, tears flowing gently.

**Epilogue - Temperance's POV**

I will always remember that night as the poignant turn in our relationship. Our mutual honesty pact was easier for me to adhere to. After that painstaking revelation, it was weeks before Seeley revealed another dark part of himself to me. It wasn't a competition to see whose past was darker, but often I felt that every time I revealed something his overshadowed mine. He was always sympathetic and compassionate but would never let me reciprocate. A revelation would be done without warning catching me off guard. After the third time, I pulled him to me, kissed him softly at first, then hungrily. We didn't speak a word until our tangled bodies encountered ecstasy. Never had my given name been said with such vigor.


End file.
